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The King of Comedy
Welcome to the web page solely dedicated to the worshipping and appreciation of who we believe is
the funniest and most genuinely nice guy you could ever meet.
Sometimes nicknamed "Statto" by his close friends, Ashwin's sheer depth of knowledge of
English and European football is outstanding! Not only does he know every little detail of the Ipswich Town football club,
but given the chance would set up home within their grounds and happily work behind the hot dog and burger stalls selling
American hot dogs with cheese (see the Jokes section for clarification of these details).
| This web site merely displays a small insight into the Ashwin experience. The comical scrapes him and his
friends get into, laughing at his own mishaps, driving his pimp mobile to his usual weekly destinations (Gt. Yarmouth and
Ipswich) and his fascination with novelty items is but a few brief descriptions of what really needs to be experienced to
be believed and fully appreciate.
Be sure to check out the Jokes section which enlists all funny
conversations
and jokes told by Ashwin that can be recalled by his friends. If you feel that I have missed any jokes and one liners out of
this section, then feel free to email me and I will make any necessary additions.
Please sign the Guestbook, recommend the site to a friend, add your views to the forum and take part in the
BIG survey below. This will help the 'Ashwin...more than a comedian' website become as popular as ever!!!
Ashwin himself has requested this!
20th November 2009
 As you may have realised...the domain name of this site has changed as a result of a new venture. It is a non-profit making site that provides sound advice for those seeking to earn a residual income. It has already become quite popular in just a few days of publishing! Click here to view it for yourself.
I have not documented any more Ashwin moments recently, but you can find plenty of Ashwinesque moments in his Facebook profile and pictures!
Don't forget to have your say by voting on some fun opinions i've created just
below. These opinions are government linked so have your say
and vote on important issues and help CHANGE this country for the BETTER!
Check out the popular Crocola Superstore now!
The very popular Ashwin Online Games Emporium
has been moved to here. See if you can beat my scores on all of these
three games
AND remain top!!
Again Ashwin's antics have again faded into the background recently and he has almost become as elusive as our mutual friend Seb!!
Remember to check out the highly humourous website. I am still addicted to this site!!
Remember to check out Ashwin's videos involving the usual bouts of lunacy and mayhem
from his holidays and insane dog walking and fireworks displays here!
Whether you are a friend, foe, associate or just a curious viewer of this site,
I hope this website allows you to explore
the wonder that is Ashwin Shah.
And Finally....
This site is in no way aimed to be derogatory towards
Ashwin Shah, his family, friends, work colleagues, pets, his car or even his mobile phone.
Aside of being
a genuinely nice bloke and great
friend to us all, he has given
his best friends moments to treasure in their lives, some of the best we will take to our graves. Many thanks to the man
himself for making this site possible and giving the motivation for me to do something constructive on my PC besides play games
and listening to music!I sincerely hope that Ashwin appreciates this website as much as I have enjoyed writing it!
Data supplied by Author - since 12th October 2005
 
Promote your site. Ashwin says it's absolutely free!!!
Hardware Problem Solving Community!
AddMe.com, Search Engine Marketing
Disclaimer/Apologies: most of the link images have been
taken directly from the site to which they link. In some cases, they have
been resized/trimmed or have been modified to provide transparency on this
page. In general, I do not muck about with imported images before adding
them to this page. If I have inadvertently breached anyone's copyright or
generally incurred their wrath by incorporating their images on this page, they
should immediately contact me and I shall
comply with any requests to withdraw the material.
Every picture on this page is a link. If you find any broken links then please feel
free to e-mail me
Amit PopatAge
Older than Ashwin
Nicknames
Pea,
Ahmed (nicknamed by Seb), Pops, Popat Sex
Male Relationship to Ashwin
Do you remember any of these conversations differently? Can you spread light on any of the finer details? If so
then e-mail me
Asparagus anyone ?
A group of us were sitting in Italian restaurant Prezzos in Chelmsford about to have meals and drinks in name of Ashwin's legendary 32nd birthday. Ashwin had ordered the Chicken Risotto or
Risotto Con il Pollo and we were all waiting patiently for our food to arrive. The waiter arrives with Ashwin's chicken risotto...the waiter says the dish in Italian and Ashwin is none the wiser but takes the dish as nobody else owns up to it.
Richard: Did you know that in Italian and Spanish chicken is spelt the same...Pollo? Although it's pronounced Pojjo in Spanish
Ashwin: Asparagus???
Laughter ensues from Amit, Tom and myself!
Richard: Asparagus? Where did that come from?? I said Chicken is Pojjo in Spanish.
Ashwin: Oh Yeah....
Ashwin nods vacantly while Amit cries tears of laughter!
A new technological dawn!
A group of us were sitting in The Chicago Rock Cafe in Braintree just drinking
(diet pepsi mainly!) killing time before seeing the Simpsons movie
at Cineworld.
Richard: Did you free up some space on that external hard drive you were talking about, because
I thought you were going to start using it for storing downloaded stuff on?
Ashwin: Oh yeah, I managed to
sort that out actually. My brother has also got one of those USB Dougals which he uses from time to time. I might borrow
that from him to transfer some of the smaller files when I come over to yours.
Richard: Hang on...what did you say...
USB Dougals!?
Ashwin: Yeah...Dougal or Dongle, I can't remember which...my brother always laughs when I
try to say it as I can never remember which one it is.
Laughter ensues from Emma, Tom, Malcolm and myself!
Transformers...robots in disguise!
When queueing for our ticket for the Simpsons movie at Cineworld in Braintree.
Cashier: Hello, what can I get you?
Richard: Could I please have two tickets for the 4:15 pm showing of the Simpsons.
Ashwin and our mutual friend Malcolm were
discussing the new Transformers movie behind me in the queue whilst I'm being served.
Cashier:Can I help you
please?
Ashwin: Yeah...I'll have a ticket for the 4:15pm for the
Transformers film please...um wait a minute I mean Simpsons.
The Cashier had an amused smile on his face shortly before the rest of us registered what he had said.
The usual belly laughs ensued!
Ipswich in the charts?
We were all around Malcolm's flat in Colchester getting ready to go out
into town.
Kiran: Isn't it funny how we all seem to respond to certain different words?
Richard: What do you mean?
Kiran: Well with you it's your nickname Croc, with Amit it's S Club 7 because
he's an avid fan, with Ashwin it's Ipswich football club....
Ashwin: What....nah Ipswich don't have a song in the charts!
The Millenium Wheel Crossword
On a day trip to the London eye (Millenium wheel) Ashwin bought a programme with a crossword on the back page. Ashwin has been studying the crossword for
10 minutes. Half an hour later the following conversation unravels.
Richard: So did you get far on the Crossword?
Ashwin: Crossword? Yeah not too bad actually?
Richard: So did
you find many of the answers then?
Ashwin: What?
Richard: The crossword?
Ashwin: What crossword?
Richard: The crossword in the back of your London eye programme?
Ashwin: Nah theres no crossword in the back of
the programme!
Richard,Amit and Kiran go into hysterics!
Malcolm's Cocktail
On our journey back from Bremerhaven
on the ferry Malcolm bought a rather exotic looking cocktail.
Ashwin: That cocktail looks good Malcolm, which one is it?
They both look on the menu.
Richard: It's one of those 30 centilitre ones I think?
Ashwin: Oh yeah I think I've had one of those kilolitre cocktails.
Richard: Kilolitre cocktail? You would have several bath fulls of cocktail drink then!
Ashwin: Yeah that's what I meant, centilitre?
Richard: Ashwin, you do
know what a centilitre is don't you?
Ashwin: Yeah, yeah I do actually.
Richard: What is it then?
Ashwin: Em...don't know really.
Richard: Ok...you know Roman numerals right?
Ashwin: Yeah
Richard: So what does the letter
C stand for in Roman numerals?
Ashwin: Oh I don't know that one.
Richard: Ok what does X or L mean then?
Ashwin: No I don't know them ones but I know Roman numerals.
Richard: OK then....um....
how many cents in a euro???
Ashwin: Ten??
Richard,Amit and Malcolm go into fits of laughter!
Aerial view photo
On a sunny afternoon I paid a visit to Ashwin's house (I think we were about
to depart for Ipswich).
Richard: This aerial view of your house is pretty good. It shows the plot of land with trees on it. That's where your shop is now. This photo must be 20 odd years old surely!?
Ashwin: Yeah it is pretty good actually. You must of
seen the trees there like that when you drove over to mine the last time you came over.
Richard: Ashwin! I was probably about 5 years old when this photo was taken!
I wasn't even driving back then!
Hand brake time!
On one occasion we were on our way to Ipswich Town FC football ground in Ipswich. He came round to pick me up.
After picking me up and travelling 200 metres down the road in his car this happenend.
Richard: What's that smell?
Ashwin: eh? What smell?
Richard: There's a burning smell, can't you smell it? Look there's smoke coming from your steering column!
Ashwin pulls over to the Vauxhall showroom car park and stops
Richard: What could it be?
Ashwin: I don't know
Richard: Ashwin, you've got the handbrake on! No wonder there was smoke, I'm surprised you have any brakes left!
Ashwin: Bloody hell, I wondered why it was difficult pulling out of that junction back there!
Having tea at sisters
An hour or so after Ashwin had just got back from his sister's house from
having tea, Amit and Kiran go to his house to see if he is doing anything exciting. In amongst the conversation the
following was said.
Kiran: Does your sister know about it?
Ashwin:
Not sure really, I haven't seen her for quite a while
Amit: But you just had tea around there!?
Ashwin: Oh yeah Ferry announcement
On our excursion to Bremerhaven we were all quietly sleeping on the first night.
At about 2am the following loud voice was heard.
Ashwin: No..no...not that way, no not that way...you wanna go to the right side of the ferry...that's it over
there!!
Amit and Richard burst into fits of laughter, crying into their pillows. Ashwin wakes up
Ashwin: What's going on??
Richard: You were talking in your sleep about saving someone on the ferry by the sounds of it!
Ashwin: No I wasn't, I didn't say anything!
Richard: Yes you did! I thought it was an emergency call from the Ferry radio speaker
over there at first, but it was definitely you!
Ashwin: Nah it wasn't me...I don't talk in my sleep
Made of wax?
On a day trip to Madame Tussaud's wax works. We ended the tour of a very enjoyable look at a variety of wax work models. On entering the canteen at the end
there was a man drinking coffee looking at us, leaning against a pillar.
Ashwin: Blimey...look...this one
looks pretty real!
Richard: Ashwin, he is real!
The man was not amused, he stood there sipping
his coffee glaring at Ashwin
with a dead pan expression. We moved swiftly on!
MTV video out of sync?
When a group of us were on holiday at Centre Parcs we were all sat watching
MTV videos on TV (TV sound was muted).
Sebastian was busy doing the noble duty of washing up (as everyone else was too lazy) and he was playing his
Nickelback CD on the hi-fi next to the TV. Ashwin was busy
talking about something or other and then...
Ashwin: Hey hang on this isn't the music to this video!?
Laughter erupts
Amit: It's
Seb's CD he has got on,
it's been playing for over half an hour, didn't you notice?
Mobile phone cover
It was at the V 2003 festival that this incident happened. Ashwin was discussing new phone covers with me
after seeing them on a nearby stall.
Richard: So you're gonna get a new phone cover then? Hope you're not gonna copy my
phone cover again?
Ashwin: Nah....new phone cover, this is an old one!
Richard: I know but are you gonna get a
new phone cover
Ashwin: Yeah but this is an old one
Richard: I know that, you told me before! So you are gonna get
a new mobile soon or not?
Ashwin: Yeah
Naval Knowledge
This incident happened happen on our little adventure in Bremerhaven. We were passing all
of the old ships docked nearby when we spotted a U-boat.
Richard: Look there's a U-boat over there, looks in pretty good shape.
Ashwin: U-boat? Nah...what are you talking about it's a submarine isn't it??
Richard: Last time I checked a
U-boat is a submarine!!!
An American Hot Dog with Cheese please!
One sunny but slightly chilly afternoon we were up in Ipswich high street looking in the shops
before journeying towards Portman road to watch an Ipswich match. Ashwin spots a popular hot dog stall in the high
street run by an American hot dog seller who frequently sells from this spot.
Ashwin: I'm gonna get a hot dog,
this stall sells quite tasty hot dogs
actually.
We all queue up for 5 minutes whilst viewing the menu board at the back of the stall which included traditonal American
hot dogs and Cheese dogs.
Ashwin: I think I'm gonna have a Traditional American hot dog with cheese
Ashwin finally gets served by the hot dog seller
Ashwin: Er...can I have a Traditional American hot dog with cheese please?
The hot dog seller looks slightly puzzled to say the least!
Hot dog seller: You mean a cheese dog right??
Ashwin: No...an American hot dog with cheese
Hot dog seller: That is a
cheese dog my friend!! So which do you want...a hot dog or a cheese dog??
Ashwin: Ok I'll have a cheese dog instead then
Hot dog seller laughs out loud with his
colleague joining in
beside him
Hot dog seller: Man you've made my
day!!
The Illusive Hungry Horse
This incident happened just prior to Ashwin's 29th Birthday. He had arranged for us all to meet him
at the Hungry Horse associated pub near the Braintree Football Club opposite Westdrive (a car showroom). I could not remember where it was
exactly so I phoned him to find out.
Richard: So is it definitely opposite the Westdrive place?
Ashwin: Yeah, just opposite actually
Richard: But that's the Orange Tree pub isn't it?? That must also be the Hungry Horse pub also, because they sell food too
don't they?
Ashwin: No it's not he Orange Tree, they sell food too but the Hungry Horse pub is further down the road opposite
Westdrive
Richard: Ok, we will see if we can find it.
Emma and I turn up at the car park at the Orange Tree pub, unable to find any
sign of the Hungry Horse pub. I decide to give Ashwin another call to find out where this mystery Hungry Horse pub is.
Richard: Ok I'm in the Orange Tree pub car park, are you sure this isn't the place??
Ashwin: Is the Westdrive place the opposite
side of the road?
Richard: No it's just a row of houses!?
Ashwin: Nah that's not the place, have a look down the road for Westdrive and it's opposite that place.
Richard: I have looked but I can't find it. Meet me in the Orange Tree pub car park and then we'll go from there.
Ashwin, Kiran and Amit turn up in the car park in Ashwin's car, they get out of the car while laughing
Richard: Ok so where is this Westdrive then because look...(I pointed across the road)there are just houses all the way along the opposite side of the road.
Ashwin: Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you...they closed and demolished Westdrive a while back and built new houses on top of it. So yeah
this is the right place.
Extortionate Car Parking!
This incident happened during my Wedding day on 22nd August 2005. The reception was held at the White Hart Hotel in Braintree
and Ashwin was there drinking and talking, suddenly I heard laughter from Kiran, Amit and my brother Tom, I turned around to investigate...
Richard: What's going on ?
Ashwin: Yeah, I was just talking
about what happenend earlier.
Richard: Something funny I bet.
Ashwin: Yeah, I parked in Sainsbury's car park earlier across the road and I nearly
got charged £110 for parking there!
Richard: But I thought that you only have to spend £10 in Sainsbury's to get out of the car park again, why £110?!
Ashwin: Well, I pressed the button
on the barrier to get the security bloke to let me out. It turned out I put the wrong ticket in the machine...it was another ticket laying around in the car from 5 days ago!
All data
supplied by Author -
12th October 2005
Do you remember any of these stories differently? Can you spread light on any of the finer details? If so
then e-mail me
The Triangle of Essex
This incident happened in the late 90's. It was a saturday and we were all at a loose end. Kiran, Ashwin, Amit and I all agreed to meet
up later in the early evening for Ashwin to drive us to Colchester in his car in the direction of the bowling alley. I thought it was a bit
strange at first that we didn't book a bowling lane in advance, but hey. Anyway, we got to Colchester a bit on the late side (8pm ish) only to find that all lanes were booked. I wasn't surprised!
So after half an hour of hanging around the bowling alley we all decided, on my foolish advice, to try the bowling alley
in Witham seeing as we were all up for bowling. When nearing the Witham bowling alley on the left of Perry Road, I happenend to point out to Ashwin (who obviously was driving) that I work at Inspectorate on the right
hand side of the road. Ashwin proceeded to turn right into my company's car park believing that I was giving him directions to the bowling alley! Of course Amit was in stiches in the back seat and Kiran and I could not contain
ourselves either! After pointing him in the right direction, we arrived to find that all lanes were booked here too!
So we played a game of pool or two and a couple of games on Who Wants To Be A Millionare. On heading back towards
Braintree (and hence geographically completing the Essex triangle)
Amit burst into tears of laughter. He refuses to this day to tell us why (come on Amit don't keep us in suspense any longer!!) but I have a couple of ideas.
It was either the fact that Ashwin almost drove on the wrong side of the road
through a restricted width speed bump on the way back home, or the fact that the whole evening was a complete waste
of time and we ended up driving some 70-80 miles just to play on a couple
of slot machines! Still...it was entertaining evening nonetheless!
Cracking his front bumper
Back
in the days when Ashwin had a blue Vauxhall Cavalier we used to frequent the Sportsman (local snooker club in Braintree). On one particular occasion
when we were pulling into a parking space in the car park, he was talking rather enthusiastically about some football
story. I told him to watch his driving as the front of the car was getting too close to the Sportsman building
as he was edging too far forward in the parking space. Ashwin was still
talking at the point that there was a fairly large and noticeable cracking sound from the front of the car. As we
got out of the car I showed him that his car was literally now touching the building! When pointing to the small
crack in the bumper
he denies that there is a crack and ignores the substantial evidence (namely that the car in in contact
with the building!!).
McDonald's car park
One night at the Sportsman snooker club in Braintree we (Ashwin, Amit and I)
all decided to go to McDonald's for a bite to eat before going home. We all left the Sportsman car park in our own cars.I knew of the new road which led almost straight to McDonalds
so turned right and travelled 300 metres to arrive at McDonald's. After a couple of minutes Amit arrived. He had forgotten about the new road and decided to take
the road parallel to it hence going a slighlty longer distance and taking a bit longer to get there. We then waited another 15 minutes for Ashwin. Where the hell as he got to we thought!? Had he gone home
instead. He arrived a minute later. He was not aware of the new road but proceeded to take not the shortest route
...oh no...but to travel right across town in the opposite direction, almost to his home, following the Braintree bypass all the way back to McDonald's.
A total distance in excess of 3 miles!
Moped Mayhem
Another incident
involving the Sportsman. Ashwin and I had been playing Pool and we had finished up and were leaving the car park in our
own cars. Ashwin had decided to reverse out of the car park onto the main road which I thought was a bit risky
because of there being a blind corner a few metres down the road.
Any traffic coming around the corner would have to brake pretty sharpish to wait for Ashwin to reverse out of the car park!
I could hear a small motorcycle in the distance and knew it was going to pass Ashwin on the road.
So I signalled to him by pointing saying " careful...there's a bike coming!". Ashwin just grinned and waved thinking that
I was talking about some novelty item
on his car or just mucking about.
It was too late! A guy on a moped rounded the blind corner to be confronted with the back end of Ashwin's car! He swerves drastically to avoid it...putting his fist in the air
and shaking it at Ashwin's car!! Meanwhile Ashwin is still reversing and smiling at me...once he is on the road he pulls over to the side
to see what I was saying. I told him that he nearly knocked someone off of their moped. He still denies to this day that anyone was behind him
when he was reversing!!
Showerholic??
On the second morning of our trip to
Bremerhaven, we were deciding who would go in the bathroom to have a shower first. I really wanted to go first but ended up being distracted
by a footy magazine or newspaper. Ashwin said he would go first. He took roughly 30 minutes and came out, hair very wet, and started sitting down
and discussing something with Amit. After 10 minutes he went back in the bathroom. The sound off masses of running water was heard minutes later
as he proceeded to have another shower for 20 minutes of so! We did not know what to say when he came out of the bathroom for the second time
we just laughed a little. Just when I got up to go to the bathroom Ashwin said that he hadn't finished in there!
He then went into the bathroom for a third time and showered!! He spent an hour and a half in there in total and we were laughing but totally
bewildered by the frequency of the showers! Please tell us why so many showers in one morning Ashwin!!?? Or perhaps it's best
he doesn't tell us come to think of it!
Having a seat at Weatherspoons
It
was Christmas 2003 and Emma, Ashwin, Kiran, Amit(was drinking tea most of the night) and I went out.
We were all taking a seat in the sofa area and getting comfortable. Ashwin was the last to sit down.
He was rambling away about something as usual and sat down. The seat cracked and caved in about 6 inches! Everyone laughed out
loud as Ashwin got up, the seat came away in his hand as he lifted it up! To be fair we all believe and agree that it was broken before he
sat on it so it was not his fault really. It was just funny at the time!
Taking a hammer to the car!
An
ammusing incident happened when we went shopping in Colchester one day. It was raining quite hard so on returning to the car, which was illegally parked in someones parking space up a road somewhere,
we quickly got in the car to avoid getting soaked. Amit and Kiran were a bit wet throughfrom the rain as they sat
in the back. Ashwin tuned the
ignition on the car and nothing happened.
He told us to hang on a minute, got out of the car with a large hammer in his hand and lifted the bonnet of the car.
He then proceeded to hammer the life out of something in the engine bay! A few of us laughed and some of us wondered
what the hell he was doing!
He returned to the car seat and turned the ignition...it started first time! He had fixed his faulty starter motor by
giving it good hammering! Ingenious but funny to watch nonetheless!
Text alert overkill
This was a incident that Amit informed me of. Amit And Ashwin went down to Highbury to see an Arsenal football game. Ashwin is notorious for signing up
for services that display goal alerts via text messages. Whilst at the game Arsenal and their opponents finished up in a fairly high
scoring game (maybe 4-3 or something like that...I am sure Ashwin could correct me on this one!). Everytime a goal
was scored, a bleeping
noise came from Ashwin's phone to tell him the score of the same game! By the end of the match he had spent over £1 in texts
to tell him the score of a match he was already at! Amit saw this as a complete waste of money!
A Journey for nothing!
One bank holiday weekend
Amit, Kiran and I had planned to make a surprise visit on Ashwin whilst he was at his family holiday caravan near Gt. Yarmouth (which he visits almost
every bank holiday weekend). We had booked the accomodation some weeks before on a campsite some 6 miles away from the campsite where
Ashwin was staying. Kiran was going to meet us there via train so Amit and I set off that morning in my car using Kiran's directions
to the campsite. The first mistake was following those directions! They led us some 8 miles away to the administration building that runs the campsite that
we were supposed to be staying at! After backtracking to the campsite whilst trying to drive seeing through a wash of
tears, brought
about by laughter over the whole mistake, we finally arrived in the late afternoon at the campsite (picking Kiran up at the
train station later). We then spent the next three days trying to arrange to meet up with Ashwin and his family. Unfortunately he
was just too busy to meet us and could not find any free time! Not sure why...it's just another mystery that Ashwin is not willing to
shed any light on. So we begrudgingly travelled back home after three days not achieving our objective. There were a few memorable moments
though. Namely the very unsafe wooden roller coaster at Gt.Yarmouth beach, the Campsite Manager telling me the directions to Beccles Kart Racing course at least ten times repeatedly in the space of 5 minutes!
Kiran trying to turn on the ball, while the three of us were playing footy, only to fall arse over tit on the ground causing two 8 year old girls
to laugh their heads off!
Sambucca night
This was one of
the best nights out so far (especially in Kiran and Richard's opinion). It was the last night of our holiday
in Majorca in September 2001. We found an authentic Spanish bar called Chanis to drink in. Despite us being the only English people there, they
were a friendly crowd (mainly because we happen to gate crash Kiran's befriended hotel receptionist's birthday party).
After an hour or so of being served beers by barmen who could of auditioned as extras behind the bar at the Titty Twister from the film
Dusk Till Dawn, we decided to drink tequilas then about 4 or 5 Sambuccas. I lost count of how many Sambuccas Ashwin
drank but I clearly recalled Ashwin repeatedly staggering and bumping into Kiran and I saying "this is the best night ever!" After finishing in Chanis we proceeded to
the night club over the road (Millenium) where they were holding a foam party.My memory becomes a bit hazy here due to
intoxification. The main points I recall are the fact that I was dragged by the legs through the foam by Jonathan Stilts, I had a pint of
coke tipped into my lap by Ashwin as he drunkenly leant against the bar, Kiran got offered drugs (did not take any of course...lets make that
clear now) and lost his glasses in the foam, Ashwin punched me in the nose, while drunkenly 'dancing', causing a minor nose bleed. All in all an excellent night
and certainly one to remember!
An unwanted addition to his car
It was on a typical Saturday afternoon that Amit and I decided to watch an Ipswich Town FC
match with Ashwin.
On returning to Braintree, Ashwin drops me off outside of my parents house,
as always passing Amit's house and forgetting to drop him off first! Ashwin parks outside of my parents house and
proceeds to hold a rather lengthy conversation
with us about all manner of things. Half way through the converstaion, as we stood outside leaning partly against his car, I noticed that Ashwin
was unwittingly scraping the metal end of his car key up and down some 10cm or so along the bonnet of his car!
He carried on talking and scratching his car for another 5 minutes or so until I pointed out exactly what he
was doing. He looked down and noticed the silver scratches
he had made in numerous places on his white bonnet. He then blatantly denied any involvement in producing the scratches and said that they
has always been there!!
Smashing Sangria!
On our holiday in Majorca Ashwin, like the rest of us, decided to
bring back some duty free items. Ashwin decided upon purchasing a typical popular Spanish drink...Sangria. When
we packed our bags to leave the hotel for home, we were a bit puzzled as to why Ashwin was putting two rather large glass bottles
of Sangria together in a plastic bag to put into his suitcase. Amit and Richard both advised him not to do this as they will
smash during the baggage handling at the Airport. However, Ashwin still wanted to defy common sense and take the risk anyway!
We landed at Stansted Airport and waited to reclaim our baggage. As the large conveyor belt turned and peoples luggage started to
appear, we noticed purple streaks on parts of a dozen or so bags! (not to mention all over the conveyor belt!)
Ashwin's suitcase appeared 5 minutes later with a huge purple stain on one side. He lifted his suitcase onto his trolley as
it dripped a purple liquid onto the floor. He opened his suitcase to be presented with a bag full of green broken glass
and a total lack of Sangria! It had leaked everywhere on other people's suitcases and bags!
We were laughing all the way through customs as a trail of Sangria some 200 metres long was left by his dripping suitcase!
His Dad came to meet him at the Airport and looked a little puzzled at the condtion of his suitcase as it was loaded into the boot of
his car!
All data supplied by Author - 12th October 2005
Age
At least 30 Sex
A bit private
really, you'll have to ask him if he has Pet hate
Being fooled in conversations
Hobbies
Playing FIFA on PS2, trips to Gt.Yarmouth, watching ITFC play, going on holidays abroad, collecting strange looking collectors items, entertaining his friends with wierd and wonderful
anecdotes, watching Drag racing and bringing back unwanted novelty items. Pets
a few King Charles Spaniels & more cats than
have been featured on Pet Rescue Favourite drink
San Miguel & Sambucca!
Favourite food
Hot dogs, Burgers,
American hot dogs with cheese, chips, Sahara 'they're nuts' peanuts. Current car
Converted british racing green Rover 416 SLi
(converted to ITFC pimp mobile with playstation, fire extinguisher and American license plates!)
Favourite car
Peugeot 306 Gti-6 (as he
is trying to copy Richard Gill on this score) or maybe a Lambo or Ferrari Favourite colour
Beige Favourite song
'We are singing the blues' by ITFC Favourite lady
Just look on his hard drive, there are plenty to choose from! Favourite TV comedy
Only Fools and Horses
Have you found a broken link? Do you know of
a good site that is missing? Do you want to add your site? Then
e-mail.
E-mail Me
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